From Tragedy Rises Happiness
by NotFlyingWithOtters
Summary: Lupin is feeling guilty about forgetting to take his potion and Sirus comforts him - Post Prizoner of Azkaban. Ship: Remus/Sirius


**Hey; having read Order Of The Phoenix for about the 200000000th time I picked up on things and decided that if Sirius hadn't died I think JK may have shipped them. Just my take. Anyway; I ship Lupin/Sirius bad. Okay so; set just after Prisoner Of Azkaban where Sirius is breaking into wizard's housesm I decided that he should stay with Lupin for a while. uhm... yeah. Enjoy (:**

'Moony?' Sirius leant in, head appearing around the side of the door and grinning his sharp toothed, dog-like grin.

'Padfoot?' Lupin raised his head from the book he had been poring over and smiled, though the tired glow in his eyes betrayed him.

'How are you doing?' Sirius asked him quietly, twirling his wand between his fingers. Lupin tilted his watch face, brows creasing.

'Is that really the time?' He muttered, suddenly snapping back into the present. 'I could have killed them, Sirius.' He muttered, nose dusting the crumbling pages as he sat hunched over the table in his house.

'But you didn't.' Sirius told him slightly forcefully.

'I could have.'

'But you didn't.'

'But I could have, Sirius, I could have.' Sirius placed a hand on Lupin's shoulder.

'Remus, you didn't kill them. I know you could have but you didn't. Harry, Ron, Hermione... They're all fine. Even...' Sirius paused, his lip curling in an uncharacteristic manner. 'Even Snivellus.' Lupin let the ghost of a smile glimmer over his face then it fell back into the lines of sadness.

'How could I have forgotten my potion?' He asked the room.

'Because you saw that Peter was alive. Remus you saved me by coming and you're okay. They're okay too.' Sirius stepped back, not wanting to intrude on his friend's private grief.

'I waited for you, Sirius. At Lily and James' funeral. I waited.'

'I'm sorry I never came. I couldn't. They wouldn't let me.' Lupin shook his head, pulling at the sleeves of his tattered robes.

'I waited for you and Peter. I left a seat either side of me for you. I sat alone. Nobody would talk to me because of what I am.'

'I'm sorry, Remus. I'm so so sorry.'

'I was so alone.' His face crumpled and he stood, trying to push past Sirius. Sirius grabbed onto Lupin and held his friend tightly, the dogged determination to not leave Lupin once again.

'It's the past now. The past. It's never going to happen again.' Lupin tried to push of Sirius again, the night he had transformed and Sirius had vainly tried to stop his transformation.

'It all came back to me when I nearly killed Harry. When I woke up in the forest in the morning and the sinking feeling of dread that I had nearly killed James' son.' Lupin stopped fighting Sirius and slumped against the other man's chest.

'But you didn't, did you? No, you didn't. You're okay. They're okay. Nobody blames you, it's not your fault. You can't control it.' Sirius whispered to Lupin, desperately trying to calm him.

'I could have killed him!' Lupin's face twisted in pain and he looked the most wolf-like Sirius had ever seen him.

'And you didn't.' Sirius' voice was strained for the first time.

'I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there.'

'Story of my life.' Sirius smiled and let go of Lupin, dropping his hands to his sides. Lupin took a deep breath in and stepped away from Sirius.

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.'

'But I am.'

'Well don't be.'

'I am though.'

'Remus. Don't be.'

'Sirius. I am.'

'Remus you're okay. Don't worry about being sorry.'

'But I am.'

'Remus!' Sirius barked out his name. Lupin looked over and opened his tired eyes widely, the sight of his best friend flushed and shaking making his mouth dry out and his heart to race.

'Sirius?' He asked uncertainly, eyes wandering over his friend's rapidly rising and falling chest.

'Remus...' His voice was slightly more husky and dragged out on the "us" part. Remus watched his friend lick his lips and then stepped forward, eyes partly open and glazed.

'Sirius... What?' Lupin licked his own lips nervously and watched Sirius with apprehension. Sirius gingerly reached out and took Lupin's hand, eyes still locked on the face of his best friend.

'Moony. Do you trust me?' Sirius asked, his voice more like usual.

'I trust you... Padfoot.'

'Close your eyes.'

'What?' Lupin looked around wildly but Sirius touched his wrist and startled him into looking at him.

'You trust me, remember? Close your eyes.' Scowling, Lupin obliged. Completely in the dark, Lupin felt his senses straining and he could still feel Sirius' warm hand on his wrist and could hear the quiet, unsteady breathing from his friend.

'Sirius?' Silence answered him. He took a deep breath in and tensed as Sirius let go of him.

'Remus, do me a favour and shut up.' Sirius hissed in his ear and Remus felt a shiver run down his spine. Lupin closed his mouth and breathed in, heart racing. He stood still for a moment and then felt Sirius' lips on his and his heart started to race. His breathing hitched and he responded, reaching out for Sirius in the darkness, clinging onto his friend's bony arms and sunken chest. They were silent, eyes closed and lips locked and standing close together. Their hands slipped down and entwined, fingers tangling together. When Sirius pulled back, Lupin dragged him back and rested his head on his shoulder. They were flushed, eyes bright and shining.

'Sirius...'

'Lupin I... It was a gamble.'

'It paid off.'

'I see. I... Moony...'

'Sirius… it's… I can't.'

'What do you mean?'

'Sirius; you're on the run and I'm a… a monster.'

'Remus. It's okay, I promise you.'

'You can't. Sirius I could kill you by accident and you could get taken away from me by… them. I don't think I could stand it if they let the dementors took you.'

'They won't. Remus they won't. I won't let them; it's okay. I have a plan; don't worry about it. We can do this, Remus.'

'Sirius. They'll take you. And I will never see you again. I can't lose another friend.'

'So don't. Remus I won't leave if you don't want me to. But I won't stay if you don't want me to either.'

'Stay.' Lupin whispered, eyes downcast. Sirius reached out a hand and took Lupin's in his, the warm skin gently caressing the cool of Lupin's.

'I will. You will _never _be alone any more. I promise you.'

'Sirius, you're my best friend. I love you.'

'And I love you. I won't let you hurt me or anyone ever again.' Sirius kissed Lupin's forehead. 'You're safe now.' He whispered and pulled Lupin into a rough embrace.

**Tell me if you loved/hated it ^^**


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